Lions, Tigers, Revision, Oh My!

Over Labor Day weekend, I'm attempting to focus my energy on the act of revision. In speaking with another writer friend, perhaps the creative edge to rip apart a chapter or two and then reconstruct will emerge within me. Perhaps I'll disable my Internet for a few hours or go to a place without wireless to click clack on my keyboard for a few hours. Maybe I should lock myself out of solitaire and minesweeper as well. I don't know how to prohibit my machine from these games, but there has got to be a way!

The creative juices are flowing again. I was helping with a critique for someone else earlier in the morning. Some of the comments that I wrote on the other writer's story caused me to pause and think about some of the details within my own work. Creativity begets more creativity and revision hopefully will beget more revision!


Having; In This Millennium by Jennifer Bluekissed

Having
a mortgage, car to drive, designer clothes
payments; a ball and chain to compete
with the Joneses
glittering jewelry and the latest gadgets
All charged on credit cards
freedom to have things
and working long days of servitude for
Plastic dreams of gold.

Having
My husband, whom I adore. Daily exclamations
he receives from me, “I’m so glad
I get the keep you!” He, in
turn, depending on his mood, replies, “Me
Too!” or “I’m so glad I have to
keep you!” The distinct mischief in
his eyes during the reply.
My life mate. I won’t let go.

Having
the distinguished college degree
and the mountains upon mountains of molehills of debt
all following me like my invisible friend’s shadow
always behind me and attached to my heel. It is
the bondage of seeking work that pays
More
at least enough…more than mere survival in
this cell phone, potato chip, easy credit world. I’m
thirsting to do more with my life than
answer the phone
my employment; the call center; scribbling poetry.

Having
Health insurance, as privilege, of a few
that which is no longer a right, to find
the cause of a cough.
contractors, consultants, freelancers, part-timers
and so many others. Their last prayer at night,
“Please keep my family healthy.” An emergency appendectomy
would kill us financially.
Nevermind cancer. This malignancy so grotesque,
even the insured can’t pay for treatment after a
year, but it touches us all. We all know someone inflicted.

Having
pesticide dripping vegetables and antibiotic cows,
cloned beef so like real meat, there’s no need for
labels. Factories so prosperous there are jobs to
go around. At least in China I hear there are jobs. Where
Communist laws govern the air, water, and wages.
Back home, the service sector provides six
dollar an hour jobs to all the seekers
Before taxes.

Having
family hugs, story-time, moments for a nap
fortune on my side. The luck of my birth in
this country where food awaits on my table.
No government thugs extort my free thought
Yet
and my water is still crystal clear clean,
fluoride enhanced, and drinkable.