Monday, August 25, 2008

Silly Mood Today

I'm in a silly mood today. This is the story I wrote just to be goofy. I had no other reason than to chuckle a bit.

Mr. Caveman hunted a mammoth and brought home lots of meat for his family. Mrs. Cavewoman diligently prepared mammoth stew for supper that evening. Mr. Caveman loved the stew, but complained that he needed something with which to eat the feast. He wasn't very suave about how he said this. What he meant was, "I wish somebody would invent a spoon and fork so that we could partake of your wonderful feast, honey." What he actually said was, "Why'd you make that for supper?"

After sleeping on the rock-couch that night, Mr. Caveman decided to keep a journal so that he could learn from his mistakes with his wife. His advice to himself was very limited, however, because he didn't yet have many tools. Number two on his list of things to pass on to his son was, "Don't tell your wife you're keeping a journal of things not to say to her. She'll think you need to invent paper because these stone tablets won't hold all of the things there are to learn about women."

Mr. Caveman was eaten by the brother of the mammoth that he killed for supper the previous night.

Many centuries later, archaeologists discover the oldest writing on record. They think it is some sort of picture writing. The only part of the drawing they are able to decipher is a man sleeping on a rock by himself. "Man began as a very antisocial being," one young grad student named Charlie deciphered.

Charlie, being an overly ambitious grad student, decided to bring the picture writing home to further study it. He placed the slab of rock on the kitchen table before he entered his bedroom to change out of his luxurious grad school clothes. Meanwhile, his wife came home and saw the slab of rock on the table. She yelled to her husband through a few walls, "You better not expect me to cook mammoth stew for dinner tonight, Charlie."

What Charlie heard through the walls was, "You better expect me to give you mammoth nookie tonight, Charlie."

Charlie came dashing through the living room with his pants around his ankles, eager to make sure he heard correctly. When he saw his wife's hands on her hips, he realized he must have misunderstood. The saddened man said to his wife, "What are we having for dinner tonight, honey?"

She replied, "I don't know. What do YOU plan on cooking?"

Charlie thought for a moment before saying, "Well, I wasn't planning on cooking anything. Isn't that your job?"

As Charlie slept on the sofa that evening, the meaning of the cave drawing suddenly occurred to him.

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